423b2e
423b2e

8.20.2009

oscar, wild


who, me ??


yeah, okay. so maybe I did it. whatsit to ya?


beloved pet or ..... criminal mastermind??



PROFILE:
  • Male miniature dachshund, 4.8 years of age
    13 lbs with Brown eyes
  • Goes by the name of Oscar (a.k.a. Merlin in another life we won't discuss)
  • Markings: Black and tan
  • Occupation: Beloved family pet
  • Unusual Personality Traits: Enjoys shredding toilet paper. clean toilet paper.

POSSIBLE CRIMINAL MASTERMIND

What we know:

Suspect was attempting to sunbathe in his back garden when three men of unknown origin entered his domain, brandishing garden tools including, but not limited to, lawnmower, weed-trimmer, and blower.

Suspect claims he was only attempting to find a more peaceful napping location, but witnesses claim that suspect yelled, "I'm BLOWING THIS JOINT.'

Suspect claims he was cornered unwillingly in Defendant's car and quote, "I did what any red blooded American dog would do in my situation."

Defendant placed call to 911.


Time Served: 10 days in county lock-up; placed in the special 'bite unit'

Came home with suspicious markings inside left ear (jailhouse tattoos???); attitude; and a crooked tail (I don't want to know, alls I'm saying).

The cost of Oscar's Great Escape?
$482.00

xxx
rdg

5 comments:

soubriquet said...

Looks a shifty character to me. I think there's a dachsund gang led by "Baby-Face Oscar", if I were you I'd check up on the FBI and Interpol most wanted lists.

red dirt girl said...

You know, I think you might be right. I've been bamboozled by a baby-faced canine. Sigh. And to think I almost caved in to kid pressure to buy another as 'company................' !!

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

NO he did NOT????

red dirt girl said...

yes Gary. To all our amazement he DID !! And this was only 4 days before I left on my month long vacation. I cried when the gardener told me what happened. I cried when the Animal Control Officer wrote me the citation, but I especially cried when the Court told me my fine was $382 ($100 was the housing fee at the county shelter). I was cited for not having my dog on a leash (I didn't let him out of the backyard !!) and for the bite. An 'unknown to me' neighbor tried to 'rescue' him from the garden men chasing him by opening her car door and calling the dog over. When she went to pick Oscar up, he bit her. She called 911 knowing full well that my dog would be 'jailed' and i'd be fined...... her husband came over and told me what was going to happen to my dog. neighborly, eh.

I hope her insurance covered the ambulance ....'cause I don't have any homeowner's insurance....argghhhh!!

xxx
rdg

GEWELS said...

I hate neighbors.

Maybe had he an accomplice they could have scaled many tall privacy fences to get away.
I'm thinking a ssecond dog might not be a bad idea.But that's just me- I'm heading towards dog number 3.