423b2e
423b2e

8.07.2009

the sky is falling down ....



Is it just me?

I have returned from my appointment with the infamous Dr. Jab. I was already in a puddle of tears when he opened his door, so he greeted me with a kleenex and softened his usually acerbic wit. Frankly, I wasn't 'up' to it. My prognosis? Apparently, well, okay, TRUTHFULLY, the meds are doing their job. Whilst on vacation I rarely had a depressed day and had minimal meltdowns. The problem is in ....... My Head.

So you can understand why I am identifying so readily with Chicken Little. I have no defense. The source lies within my 'distorted thinking.' The glass is half-empty and the sky is falling down and I'm a big fat failure (yes, fat AND failing) and this thinking is way more than feeling sorry for myself. Dr. J pointed out that vacation is just that: a trip away from our every day lives. I happen to view my every day life as an insurmountable mountain of giant molehills. No compass to guide me. No shovel to dig myself out with. And I don't even dare begin to believe I'd be deserving of a cute red backhoe to help me out. At least, that's what I'm telling myself. And therein lies the problem: my self-talk is pretty screwy.

The solution? Talk therapy. And I happened to run into my old talk therapist right before I saw Dr. J, so maybe one piece of the sky isn't falling so rapidly. She agreed to try and work out a 'plan' of payments and appointments to see me. It's time I get some ears to listen to my jumbled thoughts and help me sort a clear path through this maze of I'M A FAILURE that I've created in my head. Oh and I have to go get another needle stick ..... yuck. But I scheduled it - yeah for me, right? Next step is to call the therapist ....

Bonus: Dr. Jab pointed out that I'm not the perfect mother, but I'm a good enough mother; a good friend and ........ a good girlfriend ??!!!

Every little bit counts. In the meantime, start collecting those pieces of blue sky for me, will ya?? I'll need them to piece the sky back together again.

xxx
rdg

9 comments:

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

you are a good friend, yes :)

red dirt girl said...

gary, you're the BEST kind of friend a 'glass half-empty' gal like me could wish for - I love your happy heart. Keep smiling for me (and sending them my way).

xxx
rdg

Ulysses said...

I've had a piece here. I thought it was robin's egg at first. I had just put it in a box I'd made for it when I tripped over a bit of cirrocumulus (holy mackerel!) at the entrance to the workshop, which worked much better than those styrofoam peanuts. Left me with just enough room for the kaleidoscope in which I put the rosy lash I'd wiped from Eos' eye. I sent all of it along with a snap, and you should keep your inner eye on the lookout for it when you close your outer ones to the world.

red dirt girl said...

thank you, ulysses.
i hope you're collecting all the dew drops also, as my tears have been copious.

xxx
rdg

soubriquet said...

The sky is indeed falling down, and has been for rather a long time. I seem to recall you had a piece of it set in a ring you "borrowed" from your mother.
My recommendations are thus. Avoid vast open spaces, like prairies and suchlike. If the sky should fall there, you would be squashed. The sky is somewhat like a large and unwieldy blanket, as you'll no doubt recall from the poem of T.E.Hulme, who wished it made smaller and more manageable.

However, the sky is normally held up by tall trees, lamp-posts, house-roofs etc. Provided you stay wihin reasonable proximity to things taller than yourself there is no danger. You can also carry with you a Soub-Labs portable telescopic sky-support pole. Soub-Labs would be only too happy to supply you with this and a pair of patented sky scissors.
Should the sky ever fall around you, just punch through it with the point of the Sky-Scissors, and cut a hatch, through which you can step, to find yourself on top of the sky.
Also, Soub-labs' patented sky hats protect against small fragments of falling sky, collecting said pieces in the brim, whence they may be plucked in order to make items of great beauty.

And finally, there is the Soub-Labs sky-fall helpine and support service.
Use it!

red dirt girl said...

Soubriquet,

You have me discomfitted with giggles. What a delightful storybook your Soub-Labs items and their uses would make! I wish I could draw better. Fancy this: a re-telling of Chicken Little where he discovers the gorgeous stars, meteors, planets of the universe once he's cut his way through the sky.

I'll make sure to keep the help-line number close at hand !!!

xxx
rdg

red dirt girl said...

Hi Soub -

Just tried the help-line number. I was told that all of the Soub help representatives were currently busy helping other customers. Could I please stay on the line ?? Then I was tortured with music from the seventies ... FINALLY, a chipper lady with a firm, no nonsense voice asked how may she help me today. I explained my falling sky dilemma. She preceded to explain the number of products available for sky propping up. But first she needed to verify my personal information: name, mother's name, birthdate, birthplace, marital status, credit card numbers ....

well ..... it all seemed rather fishy to me. Do I have the right number ??????

xxx
rdg

GEWELS said...

You are too much. Glad to see that Soub is able to bring that sense of humour back out in you.

I'm holding up my end of the sky. Hopefully at least this little corner will offer you some solace.

Mother of Invention said...

I think it would be better if I did your self-talk and you did mine!! I'm sure then that we'd feel a lot better about our respective situations!!! We would naturally do the teacher build-up thing and be way more positive.

I am going on holidays tomorrow for a week...renting a cottage closer to civilization than usual. Having some stroke-like issues checked out with an MRI when I return so I'm sticking closer to a hospital should I need it, just to be safe. Scary stuff!!! Hope I can take my mind off things up there!

Sending hugs and support.