EWWWW !!!!

warning: this post contains gross imagery ...... !!

Last night, the mulettes and I were romping in the family room, and the family dawg decided he wanted to get in on the fun. So he jumped up into my middle mulette's lap, and all of a sudden she exclaimed, "EWWWW! What's this on his leg ????" The youngest mulette, lured by the possibility of seeing something gross (which is sub-lingo for way cool in his mind), went over and began touching. Next thing I know, the mulettes are picking and flicking at this large gray, nipple looking growth on the dawg's leg. (Yes. I did write 'nipple').

When mama mule finally took a peek, she exclaimed, 'EEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!" Having grown up on a farm around many dogs, cats and animules, I knew it had to be a TICK !!! A TICK! A real live, extremely engorged, sucking the life blood of Oscar the hound right here in bubbletown, TICK ! I say that because I've lived in bubbletown near on 10 years, and I'VE NEVER SEEN A TICK on anyone or anything. Which only confirms that 1. yes, the economy is in imminent danger of collapsing (HAAAAAAAAAA) and 2. My new digs are located in that gray, in-between, transition world of bubbletown and the rest of the real world. 3. In other words, we are living on the edge - oooooooo!!

So. Out come the tweezers, the alcohol and YIPEEEE - the wooden matches. "What are you going to do with those," asks the middle mulette. Burn the TICK! Yeah! Do I hear any amens out there ????? "Why ??????" she asks, worried that I'm going to burn the dawg as well. And so I ponder for a moment and say, "Because it's what we always did down on the farm. Pull the tick and then burn it." This not so little sucker was so engorged, he didn't need much tugging to release but mama mule had a hard time keeping him gripped in her tweezers. I blame age and the new meds for the weak, shaky hands. right. So I spend about 5 matches burning mr. TICK over the sink before he disappears. Yep. He disappeared. Not sure where he ended up. You see I kept losing my grip on the darn thing ....

I'm hoping he went down the garbage disposal. I ran it a few times, just in case and for good luck. Then I promptly dug out the Sentinel to feed Oscar. Ummm........errrrrrrr........ apparently I've been a little slack on keeping him up to date on HIS MEDS !

If I had to label this post, I'd use words like 'pyromania' 'gross' and 'critters.'



GEWELS said...

Where exactly do you live that you haven't seen a tick in 10 years? My furry children get them all the time and I'm in suburbia. Granted there is often a herd of deer outside of my back door, but still.
I just smother them with vaseline and throw them out the door. Hmmm, maybe that's why I keep seeing them. It's the same one over and over and over.

red dirt girl said...

Hi girlfriend. Yep. not a tick, nary a flea for 10 years - knocking on barn wood. I've seen racoons, possums, armadillos and plenty of snakes ..... but no ticks. Hmmmm ..... it IS strange, isn't it ?? Anyhows, my townhome backs up to a 'greenbelt' - read, lots of trees between me and the church behind me. And there are neighboring dogs on both sides. Vaseline! slick. very slick.


soubriquet said...

That is a very ugly thing.
I always think they look as though they're made out of plastic. Urgh.

I expect it enjoyed the alcohol for a brief moment before immolation and oblivion.

red dirt girl said...

Soubry -
if you were anyone else, I'd convince you that the alcohol was for me, and yes, quite enjoyable. But you know I'm fibbing for sure.

No. Alcohol=sterilization of mama mule's favorite tweezers and to swipe the tick wound after removal of said beast.

I certainly enjoyed the immolation. At least until the tricky Houdini act occurred.