feeling churlish ...

Yes, I'm feeling churlish these days. Herald the holiday season with customers who are quick to complain if they are not helped "IN THE ORDER THEY WERE WAITING". It's my job to explain that when I say, "Can I help the NEXT customer in line, they need to be ready to claim their spot. My favorite sales manager quit this past week and her leaving amidst tears and hugs made me feel bluer than blue. She was my 'Go To' girl whenever I had a question or problem. I knew I could trust her to be friendly and professional and helpful.

And the bipolar depression keeps me feeling like the proverbial black sheep in the bunch. I mean, who can I talk to about the despair of being the odd sheep out, not able to join in all the white sheep games and play. I read today that misery eventually passes and happiness comes to you. I'm worried now that I might miss the happiness boat. You see, when I try to perform normal weekly tasks like grocery shopping, dinner with acquaintances, eating out etc. etc. I have all this black sheep anxiety of feeling swallowed up by the white sheep crowds. Then I can't function. Anyone out there want to wear a black sheep suit to keep me company for a while? I'm feeling lonely.



Adullamite said...

You must understand that we black sheep, the ones that don't fit in with the crowd, are the ones going in the right direction.
Everyone else is wrong!
This makes you more valuable in any auction house than the run of the mill white sheep.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

I would if I could...

goatman said...

It seems to me that the outliers are the ones who define the edge, explore the areas not ventured into by those part of the group.
We have to exist to expand the edge.

soubriquet said...

What can I say?
Black Sheep?
Hooray for the Black Sheep.
My mother has shares in the Black Sheep Brewery, and them sheepses pays a nice little dividend to those who support them.

soubriquet said...

There came the day when King Ubongibongo's thirty-third wife went into the labour of childbirth. All the people of the chief's kingdom gathered round to celebrate the birth of the newest member of the tribe's royal family.
At last, the yells, the swearing, and the encouraging chanting from the birthing hut fell silent, and a thin, reedy cry rose up into the morning air.
The crowd parted, as the king's throne was carried into the sacred space, the king's chief medicine-woman threw open the woven door, and held up to the sky a perfect, shining, yelling, baby.
From the crowd, silence. From the king a rumble of rage, as he turned upon Mr Preston-Johnson-Jones, the visiting missionary, who'd been popular with the king's royal household over the previous year, "Seize Him!!!" screamed the king, "Traitorous Dog!", "Ready the great Cauldron, kindle the fires!"
For the perfect baby was- not the chestnut-brown of the people, but.... pink.

Dragged face down through the mud to the hut of the royal court, the terrified reverend was soon pleading for his life, wringing his trembling hands in fear, trying to explain to the king about chance genetic variants, "O great one, dost thou not know, how every once in a while in a flock of white sheep, a black lamb may be born?" The king startled, wide eyed, half rose to his feet. "Silence!" cried the king, "Get out!, all my courtiers, guards, leave the royal hut immediately!"
The dutiful subjects, in the face of their King's anger, withdrew, bowing low, shuffling backwards.
When the royal hut was empty, but for the king, and the trembling missionary, the king clasped his erstwhile friend by the shoulder, and spoke. "Okay," he said "You win... you can take four of the younger wives, but you've got to promise... not another word about me and my sheep!"

Annie said...

Sorry to hear you're still having a hard time with your bi-polar...If it's any consolation, I think my son goes through these thoughts all the time, and they don't end... Of course there are ups, but the majority of times are down, and it will be years before he can feel generally happier again. Use the knowledge things will get better as a weapon - They will get better!- and use it to spear the darkness. Eventually you'll have made enough holes the light will shine through :-)

Loved Soubriquet's story! lol :-D

Annie said...

ps...we are old friends who lost touch awhile...my computer crashed, got a new one, lost all old emails :-(