the incredible shrinking machine

Confessions of a Shopgirl
Part 2
I confess: I almost didn't write this post. But the incident I want to share with you is SO FUNNY, I must reveal: I work for a jewelry store. And at our special jewelry store we do BIG BUSINESS in charm bracelets. We stock hundreds of charms and much of our business centers around customers leaving their bracelets to have charms soldered on, clasps refurbished, charms polished etc. You too, Faithful Readers, would be surprised at the INTENSITY customers bring to the maintenance of their charm bracelets.

So.... now that you know the back story, here's what happened NO LIE one evening last week:

Shopgirl: Hi M'am. How can I help you this evening?
Customer: I'm here to pick up my charm bracelet. I was having some charms soldered.
Shopgirl: Here you go, m'am (laying out charm bracelet)
customer picks up bracelet and tries to slip it on over her hand.
Customer: OMG! You SHRUNK my bracelet.
customer frantically tries to fit bracelet over her hand.
Customer: SEE! LOOK! It used to roll right on.
shopgirl patiently leans over counter and UNCLASPS the bracelet so it rolls over customer's hand
Shopgirl: No m'am. It still fits.
Customer: (turning pink, laughs weakly) Well, um, yes, I see now ....


Red Dirt Mule and her cohorts: Sound of much snorting and laughing incoherently...

Hey 'Shopgirl' - didn't you read the label that said Do Not Place in Dryer???
Hey 'Shopgirl' - let me know when the machine is warmed up, 'cause I've got some problem areas I want to shrink .....

yes, well, it was a slow night in the retail biz


goatman said...

You could have suggested that maybe the Doctor swole her arm during that last X-ray!

But that would have been cruel, and probably in violation of policy.

jim said...

aaah, retail. it's such an american thing to instantly start blaming people before even attempting to figure it out. i got a job at a bookstore just out of college and an older woman came up to the counter with a recently released danielle steele novel and asked me (then 28), "is this book any good?" just out of college and unseasoned in the wider world, i said i don't know i haven't read it. she said in a huff, "you work in a bookstore and you haven't read the books?" i still don't have a polite reply

soubriquet said...

I remember kids comics with incredible shrinkolators. You know the stuff.... a sudden scream, and we see one of our number cornered by a huge ant... We have to fight the beast, but how?
What's more likely though, is that the lady's been embiggened.
Just tell her she's grown some.
ALL women will believe that, it's their constant phobia.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Ah, get ya giggles wherever you can!