groovin' with Tom Petty, among other things

It's been ages since I've listened to the music in my iTunes library. Two years and some days to be exact. I was waiting up for my 16 yr old muletta to return home after a friday night football game. So I started browsing through the library. It became a sort of 'walk down memory lane'-ish activity. Each song I listened to reminded me of 'time and place'. When my muletta checked in with me, I was listening to this song by Tom Petty:

"Mary Jane's Last Dance" has a laid-back, groovin' vibe to it. My daughter started dancing. I started dancing. We both were doing our funky groovin' moves (hers being more modern and up to date than mine!) And truthfully, without thinking about consequences, parental responsibility and all that goes with it, I took an IMAGINARY toke on my 'mary jane' and passed it over to my daughter. She didn't even miss a beat. She took her own hit and handed 'mary jane' back to me.

Then we both broke down into a fit of giggles.

There was no "Gee Mom, I can't believe you just did that" recriminations from her. Instead, she propped herself up on my bed and so began a frank discussion of pot smoking (her friends that do / those who don't); her admission of curiosity about trying it; which led to a larger conversation about growing up, college, what she wants to be in life (she doesn't know yet). I let her talk. And I listened. I listened to the words behind the words, as well. When she asked, I answered as truthfully as possible. I dipped my oar into the waters here and there, but for the most part, I let her steer the boat.

It was a rare and wondrous moment.



gz said...

A good moment indeed.

Adullamite said...


Gary's third pottery blog said...

whoa, I didn't realize Tom was singing about weed!

Jan Hagel said...

This was parental responsibilty in action.
I adoreboth of you!

red dirt girl said...

gz~ thanks ((hugs))!

adullamite ~ high praise indeed! :)

gary~ i'm not so certain Tom is singing about weed here. i tend to read more into lyrics, words etc. than the average person should! Just a spontaneous moment.

jan ~ why thank you kind sir. Flattery will get you everywhere here in the garden!


goatman said...

I have always thought it unfortunate that societal behavior could not be based upon personal responsibility and proper peer pressure rather than unyielding laws, "third time out" sentencing, racial selection (driving while black etc), and a political system which values incarceration rather than rehabilitation which, rehab, is actually cheaper. We have over 3 million on hold, in prisons -- more than any industrialized country in the world.
Don't get me started!

Such a waste ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry to bum out your dance --but it did make me smile.

Bullets said...

"So lets get to the point..."

soubriquet said...

Weed? Ahhh. I see. You have dandelions?

We dared Johnny Newall ( I think it was Johnny Newall) to eat dandelions which he did.... he won the dare, but we rolled about laughing.
I think I'd have been about eight. Because we'd been told that in french, they were known a "Piss-en-lits"... Piss the beds....
And we didn't tell him that.
Oh my... Next day his mother came after us in attack mode. I got a spanking from my dad. Consequently we never got around to seeing if he was stupid enough to eat deadly nightshade.

witnessingami said...

As a parent of a high school boy, I am always so eager to pass along some wisdom, to ask the right questions, to sum up the lessons for him. But I try to remind myself to shut up more often than not. This post is a perfect lesson to just our children "steer the boat."

My hat is off you.

red dirt girl said...

hi goatman~ i'm not sure how to respond. You're touching on a much broader issue. One of which I haven't given much thought to since college days. I suppose, off the cuff, that personal responsibility works best within an overarching structure of societal laws. I'm definitely in agreement with rehabilitation. However, some are not able to be rehabilitated. I'm thinking of myself here - in that my depression might be controllable within psycho-pharmaceutical parameters, but I will never be 'cured' of it. You know, it's a part of my chemical/personal make-up....oh hell, come on and just dance with us!

red dirt girl said...

Cowboy!!~ you of all people understand the fragile, dangerous ground I was dancing upon that night. We want our children to learn from our own personal mistakes. Yet, by their very nature, children will go forth and make the same mistakes ..... here's hoping they learn from them.


red dirt girl said...

Soubry~ You're incorrigible!! But you always have the best stories ....!


red dirt girl said...

Hi witnessing~ welcome! I understand what you are saying. I tend to err more often than get it right. Case in point: I 'heard through the grapevine of sisters' that my oldest son, a college freshman, sends hilarious texts whilst inebriated and has recently become fond of smoking cigars ....and this has always been a NON-SMOKING household.

So of course, the next time he calls home, I pontificate on the virtues of 'everything in moderation' ... sigh. Unfortunately I remember MY freshman year and now understand the wisdom of not sharing all of my experiences with my own mom. Sometimes, I think I just want to be left in the dark ...

Kudos back to you.

goatman said...

I was thinking more of the referred to drug situation. There was a story going around awhile back that a fellow was sent to Texas prison for 10 years for one mj seed found in his car (Judge was a known hardass.) That may have been rumor to scare us straight -- it didn't work -- but probably true, in my experience.

Dancing is good

red dirt girl said...

Hi goatman,

Well in that case, yes, I don't believe the threat of incarceration is the answer to deterring drug usage / experimentation. If anything, it seems to glorify it more / make drugs more enticing because of their illicitness.