I've been mummified!

Hello friends and faithful readers! My apologies for not responding to the last few posts or even posting that much this week. I'm on a new (old school) med for depression, and I feel like I've been wrapped in cotton gauze. The random crying spells are gone, but the random witticisms are gone as well. I feel like the best I can do is go around and drop a stone (o) in everyone's blog pond just to let you know that I AM reading. Gray. I feel gray and foggy.

A few thoughts that have filtered through the fog:

My oldest mulette came home from college last weekend for the first time. He spent a night and half a day with me before he went on to his dad's house. I really enjoyed his visit / listening to him talk about a typical college day and weekend. My greatest feeling was one of relief. He's adjusting well to life in a dorm; making new friends; doing well in his classes; and enjoying the social life of college: house parties, football games etc. He's even found a new passion: racketball! I'm very happy for him and will probably worry less about his well being now that I have seen him.

I read this passage in a book, The Goodbye Quilt by Susan Wiggs, about how it feels when a child leaves for college:

"When a child leaves for college, it is the end of something. Other than birth or death, leaving home for any reason is the most extreme of life transitions. One moment we're a family of three. The next, we've lost a vital member. It's a true loss, only people don't understand your grief. They don't send you sympathy cards or invite you to join a support group. They don't flock to comfort you. They don't come to your door bearing tuna casseroles and bottles of Cold Duck and platters of cookies on their good chintz china.

Instead, the journey to college is a rite of passage we mark as a joyous occasion, one we celebrate by buying luggage and books on how to build a fulfilling life. But really, if you ask any mother, she'll tell you that deep down, we want to mark it as a loss, a funeral of sorts. We never show our sorrow, though. Our sadness stays in the shadows like something slightly shameful."

This passage spoke true to me and how I felt when he left this summer. Now I'm adjusting to the loss but still mourn his presence in my everyday life.
My step-daughter is in town with her baby girl, visiting my ex. We had a girls' lunch out last Thursday with her, the baby and my 16 year old mulette. It was fun catching up on her life and holding the baby, who will be a year old next month!! Plus, I was grilled about my 'significant other's' visit to Texas .....!!! This luncheon, however, sparked a long text session with my daughter who longs to come home. (She and the youngest mulette have been staying at their dad's house while their sister has been visiting). So it's been a lonely 2 weeks around Chez Mule. And after the initial relief of not having to do laundry, wash dishes, cook dinner ..... I've been missing my mulettes! A few more days, and they will be back home.
I haven't been to see Kirsten Stingle's exhibit yet. However, she posted on her blog that this piece entitled "Down the Rabbit Hole" was sold opening night here in Houston:

My favorite piece is "Nourish":

I wonder how much her pieces are selling for ???
In the thousands, I am certain.
The origins of the word "Embiggen" (this is for Goatman who claimed
I made it up) According to Wikipedia,
in the sixteenth episode of The Simpsons' seventh season called "Lisa the Iconoclast:"

the episode features two neologisms: embiggen and cromulent which were intended to sound like real words but play on the fact that they are completely fabricated. Embiggen, coined by Dan Greaney, has seen use in several scientific publications. Embiggen is also featured in Wikitionary and the Urban dictionary.
For Adullamite who wrote a post, oh a week or two ago, regarding the sorry state of today's children and their lack of manners, I found this quote:

"Our youth now love luxury, they have bad manners
contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders,
and love to chatter in place of exercise. Children are now
tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no
longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict
their parents, chatter before company, gobble up their
food and tyrannize their teachers"

~Socrates (399 B.C.)

Which tells me that teenagers, through the centuries, have been tough going for their parents!!
Yeah! We have two winners! Out of the last 25 books I've read, I highly recommend the following two:

Room by Emma Donoghue (you don't realize how creepy it is until you've read the last page!)
and Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese. Cutting for Stone left me in tears; it was so beautiful, but you have to work hard to get through the medical terminology as it is written by a doctor about a family of doctors in post WWII Ethiopia. Stunning.

Ok. Those were my random thoughts over the last week or so. Let's hope the fog clears a bit in the coming weeks. Enough to let some sunshine in .... !


PS For those of you who like to read funny church signs, Cowboy sent me this link to a VERY funny set of signs: All rocks go to heaven ...


Dave Renfro said...

Funny, I liked Nourish best when you posted it the other day. Can't really say why, but it's an amazing piece.

My brain's been haywire, too, for quite a long while now. Like forty years. I'm still too terrified to go to the doctor about it but I'm getting real close. I should just do it, I suppose. A little grey and foggy would feel like Nirvana right now! On the other hand, I could just keep projecting an outward stoicism as anxiety's talons rip and tear at my indestructable bowels. I know they're indestructible because I somehow am not dead from it yet.

This comment has gone awry. Maybe I should tray again later. Hope you get to feeling a little less grey and foggy, or more so, if that's what you want. You're tops, Mule friend!


red dirt girl said...

Hi Dave!!

Missing you much-o! Nourish - great minds think alike, yes? Well I understand about Anxiety - as I've had bunches of it. Now I'm just numb. But I weirdly miss some of the angst of anxiety ... I know, it's all screwy isn't it. I'd like normal, whatever normal is. A little bit happy. A little bit anxious. A little bit calm and serene. A little bit creative ..... I could go on. Less grey and foggy would be good. No meds would be even better. Unfortunately, that did not work out so well for me ...

Hope your situation rights itself. Go with your gut intuition, I say. I'm being told (now) that I've been treated for 13 years for the wrong diagnosis .... so let's just say my faith in doctors and medicines is rather jaded right now.

You're tops, Dave!

J Cosmo Newbery said...

My, you have been busy. I am definitely an under achiever!

gz said...

completely in neutral mood is scary in itself. One needs ups and downs, just not massive swings.

trying to work out if the next step is the right one, here. scary

Adullamite said...

Nothing more depressing than a woman talking about a baby.....

You look good today I must say. :)

Gary's third pottery blog said...

Hah, last comment about the baby here = hysterical :)

soubriquet said...

That was a perfectly cromulent explanation, I must say. I'm assuming Goatman lives somewhere, y'know...beyond? For how otherwise would he not know of the great American pioneer, Jebediah Springfield, who coined the motto of his eponymous town?
"A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man."

All jesting aside, I like "embiggen", I use the word often, preferring it to the less poetic "enlarge", I also promote the use of "rebiggen", or I will as soon as I have the opportunity. "biggenment".... "biggification"....

After all, the dictionary's had "belittle" for centuries.

Adullamite made me laugh... perhaps he lives in fear of the knock on the door and the teenager saying.... "I think you must be my dad".

Anonymous said...

Red, I feel about the same today. Blah.

goatman said...

Let's not get crazy with the extrapolation . . . but ol Jebediah as a reference beats Lisa Simpson, or does it?

red dirt girl said...

@Cosmo ~ not over-achieving, just gathering together all the dust bunnies in my brain and writing it down in one post ...! If only I could write a poem a day like you, that would be AWESOME!

@gz ~ next steps are always scary, especially if you can't forsee all the consequences of that choice. Yes, I'd like some mild mood swings! good luck ...!

@Adullamite ~ Ah c'mon, give me a break. I didn't gush about the baby. I didn't coo. I just reported the facts! So you like to see me all wrapped up in cotton gauze (especially the piece over the mouth, yes??)

@Gary ~ You're not jumping on that bandwagon, too are you ??!!

@Soubry ~ I'd like to see 'rebiggenment' in my dictionary ...Ha to the Adullamite comment. xxxx

@cowboy ~ I'm sorry. I hope some sunshine seeps through your clouds and puts a smile on your face. I hate blah, don't you ???

@goatman ~ Umm, maybe I should have posted more on embiggen from the Wikipedia page:

"Lisa the Iconoclast" is the sixteenth episode of The Simpsons' seventh season. It originally aired on Fox in the United States on February 18, 1996. In the episode, Springfield's bicentennial approaches, and Lisa writes an essay on town founder Jebediah Springfield. While doing research, she finds a confession revealing that Springfield was a murderous pirate named Hans Sprungfeld who never cared about the people of Springfield. Lisa and Homer decide to get the message out, but instead anger the town council."


goatman said...

Or disembiggened . . .

soubriquet said...

Or disembigulated?