re-tales from retail ...

Setting: The mall, early autumn, 96 degrees F outside and sunny....

I promise, if you walk into my store with THIS hat on:

and THESE furry boots:

with a pair of SHORT denim shorts:

AND THEN you tell me that you live on HOBBIT LANE ....

I WILL LAUGH at you when you turn your back to me. In fact, as you walk out of my store, I will get a case of the uncontrollable GIGGLES, and I will be giggling and CRYING at the same time. And soon, my co-workers will be laughing and crying with me, and I will have to retreat to the back offices to compose myself. Later that evening, at our ladies' dinner,
we will ALL start LAUGHING AGAIN, as the story is re-told.

Yes, sometimes we are bad people.


gz said...

and the thing is, she just wouldn't understand what she started!
A good laugh is marvellous

Adullamite said...

An attention seeking woman, how surprising!

soubriquet said...

As much as the hat and the rest, the thing that catches my eye is the face, thenasty bit of metal banded through the lip, the strange eye make-up.... Why would she paint the outside edges, leaving the areas closer to the nose plain pink?
Even without her silly headgear, I'd have labelled her as a kook.
As for the boots, well, obviously I've got her figured out instantly. She's a reindeer-herder from the indoor ski-slope, taking her break.
But then the headgear? Oh, even worse, she's a reindeer predator from the indoor ski-slope! The reindeer would panic and gallop for miles across the tundra, if they caught sight of those pointy grey ears... Which would be a problem on an enclosed ski-slope in texas, leading to medivac of crushed snow-boarders.
And that, of course, explains the abbreviated thigh-casings, because, seeing the reindeer panic, the herd dogs woould immediately seek out the source, the wolf, and set to work to bring it down, tearing at its haunches....
I assume her thighs had bite-marks?

Oh. But, as a sometime denizen of the arctic regions, I can assure you that bodily metalwork is a no-no in those regions. Her tongue would get frostbite.

Altogether, she's a semiotic mish-mash. Which is the latest in a series of great band-names...
Live at the Rose-Bowl, SEMIOTIC MISH-MASH!

Bulletholes said...

Looks like Muskrat Love.

red dirt girl said...

gz ~ indeed it was a great laugh!

adullamite ~ you and Soubry are assuming that it was a female customer....maybe it was a GUY who walked in like that ......!!

soubry ~ i think you should start a blog that features your 'best of' comments. this one definitely would belong there.

cowboy ~ you know i voted 'Muskrat Love' as the worst song written of all time ... now I can't get its melody out of my head !!!