butterfly burning

"The man in the green suit said a woman is for loving. If you love a woman enough she will unburden herself. That is the sweetest woman there is, a woman who has been loved well enough. This was the truest woman there was and a man could live a happy life. He looked at her directly and spoke to her alone. She looked away.
She wanted to raise her voice loud and say that it was not like that at all, it was that a woman must love herself enough. A woman like that is the sweetest woman there is. She believed this but could not say it. What kept her quiet was that she remained puzzled by one aspect of her belief, the question she could not answer was how a woman got to do that, how she got to love her own knees, and kiss her own elbows, how she got to feel she was all breeze there is and all the mornings there are and all the loving there could be.

And then seek something more which perhaps only another can provide, and love a man simply because she could, and indeed something in him made her heart beat, and yes, her knees weak with the flow of his tender caress. Finding herself, that was it."

~ by Yvonne Vera
from Butterfly Burning



gz said...

Find yourself then you can love others and be loved for yourself

goatman said...

I can't help but go to Ruimi for these openings:

There is a life-force within your soul, seek that life.
There is a gem in the mountain of your body, seek that
O traveler, if you are in search of That
Don't look outside, look inside yourself and seek That.

From "Thief of Sleep"

To go deep and not superficially, self-love can't help but be there somewhere.

From me ~~~~~~~~

red dirt girl said...

gz ~ Yes! This is what I tell my daughter, 'You must be able to love yourself first before you can love another..'

However, self love is difficult for women, I think ... do you love your elbows and your knees? do you feel you are all the loving there could be ?

As a woman, I know that I love parts of myself and also, there are parts of me that I don't love ...


red dirt girl said...

goatman ~ those passages from Rumi are wonderful! I especially like the seeking of That within you. I once had a therapist advise me that I needed to start cultivating my self-worth based upon my inner qualities rather than upon my outward beauty. As she so correctly pointed out to me, 'One day you will be old.'

Diving deep can be frightening.


SL said...

So true, but why is it so difficult for women? We know so well how to nurture everyone else. Why do we have such a hard time giving that to ourselves? No answers here, just wondering.... This is a great post RDG!

thesacredcave said...

Great post, beautiful. A lovely reminder.

red dirt girl said...

hi SL!

Yes, you make such a great point! we are nurturers in our daily lives, but we often fail to nurture ourselves ... I know I am guilty of that. For me it is tied (strangled, tangled,twisted) up with feelings of not being good enough. Oh how we carry these burdens into our adult lives ...


red dirt girl said...

Hello sacred cave and welcome to 'the gate' ...! It is a beautiful passage, and I am anxious to read the novel (though I know it is brutal and ends horrifically ...)

Serendipity: I've discovered Yvonne Vera and you all in the same week!