423b2e
423b2e

12.12.2012

it's still on my list ...


Every year, around this time, I ask Santa sweetly, politely, humbly with no malice aforethought, for one thing .... just this one thing!  (No we are NOT talking about all the OTHER things I ask, beg, plead, pray, hope, stomp my feet and curl my lip for during the REST of the year.)  This is about the magical Santa time of year.  The few weeks that I clean up my not so nice / naughty act and jump on the SLEIGH ride to Christmas:  the magical believing time of year.  Here goes again (just proving that I do not lose hope or worse,  lose FAITH) :

Dear Santa,

I am writing to you once again from the unseasonably sub-tropical climes of a rather belligerent state known as Texas.  I, not being of belligerent mind or state, inquire as to your good health and that of Mrs. Claus as well.  I look forward to your annual nocturnal visit and promise if not to leave out cookies (which I tend to eat while awaiting your arrival) and milk,  promise to leave you a gold box of Godiva chocolates as a small token of my appreciation for all you do during this, the most hustling bustling time of year: Christmas.  Once again I will be working til the shop closes on Christmas Eve.  As I wearily walk myself out to the back forty where my current mode of transportation awaits me (a gas guzzling energy inefficient on its last 4 wheels of a car) on Christmas Eve, I will be crossing fingers, eyes, teeth, legs, arms, hair and toes in hopes you will gift me, this year, my secret heart's desire ...... yes, Santa.  That is the one.  The red one with the lovely curvy profile and roaring V-8 engine on the inside.  The 'vintage' model.  No Santa, you've already gifted me with the roaring redhead and I did muchly appreciate the care you took in selecting her, but I was asking for something a bit more steely. Yes, Santa, the truck.  The RED truck.  Yes, the one with gear boxes and carburetor and enginey-piston type thingies.  No, no, my desire does not have to be in perfect mint condition.  I'll do the clean up work.  She can have a few quirks and be slow to start.  I've a patient and gentle hand.  Snow and Christmasy trimmings are optional.  I am, as always, already eternally grateful.
Yours truly,
rdg
Red Dirt Girl
xxx


13 comments:

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Have you been a good girl?

goatman said...

So now you want: "a gas guzzling energy inefficient on its last 4 wheels of a" . . . truck? I can hear you now out there adjusting the automatic choke in a rainstorm so that the ol 6 banger will start for you -- cursing up the storm noone hears (or do they), maybe even better than what I could do ,cursewise, whilst working on the old Goat. (and I could piece together many a new phrase after breaking that bolt off and wondering if the so called "easy out" was going to work.)
You will need to learn this term and many more so that manly discussion can take place concerning your truck and its foibles. Thus: three on the tree or four on the floor, wing window, rear end, tranny, three deuces, points and condenser, riding the clutch, no oil pressure, peeling out, custom cab (5 windows), fucking water pump, I have a broken carrier bearing, double clutching, and many British terms of which I am probably unfamiliar but you will need those also . . . I tire -- oh, and flat tire.
It is a good thing you will have help!
I'll shut up now.

bulletholes said...

I want you to have one so bad, I'm all choked up here.

red dirt girl said...

Cosmo - I'm awaiting my final numbers... Apparently I've been approximately 74% naughty and 26% nice. Hmmm ... Santa has sent me a private note explaining there is this business of 'spanking' that must occur before any doling out of gifts.

Ha ha ha, that Santa .... little does he know how much I like a good spanking - LOLOL

xxx

red dirt girl said...

Ummm goatman. The short answer is yes. To all of that.

xxx

red dirt girl said...

Oh cowboy, you're such a softie !! So the letter was good, right ??!!

xxx

Adullamite said...

All you Yanks have one of those.
I saw it on TV.

red dirt girl said...

Adullamite !! Have you been staying up late and watching all those B movies about America again ???! You know better than to believe everything you see / hear on the telly!


xxx

Lee said...

I'd like Santa to bring me a rainy, cool Christmas Day.

red dirt girl said...

We should swap Christmases, Lee!

xxx

soubriquet said...

Goatman, you're missing your mojo!
I seem to recall you've a green John Deere, with a collapsed wheel?

Red Dirt Girl will be supplied with a generous heap of wrenches and hammers, when the time comes.
Red nail polish to match the truck...
And me in a comfortable chair, a few yards back, with a good book and a pot of tea, to offer encouragement and sympathy..............

soubriquet said...

Automatic choke? Oh my.
New technology!

I also have to learn Amercan terms, one of the best of which I've heard, regarding old machinery, is 'FUBAR'.

Goatman will already know it, I suspect, others may google.
British english has no direct equivalent.

goatman said...

Oh, and I need to add one caveat :
you can say to a buddy " hey I have a 4.11 rear end in my ride", but never go into the parts store and say "I need some grease for my rear end"!
As to FUBAR, although I don't say that -I use the actual words- I heard this used in a movie once but they changed it to "Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition. Somehow doesn't have the same impetus.

Still welding on the JD. Just got a replacement petcock -- used for cylinder pressure relief while starting. Even the tiny spring and cotter pin were brass!