just give me one more sec ....

It's all happening too fast.  I haven't forgotten you, blogworld.  I have dozens of posts I've been meaning to write.  But we all know the road to hell is paved with good intentions, right?  No.  I have not visited your blog lately.  I'm sorry.  My spare time is spent procrastinating.  Aimless drifting in the innertent, television (crime shows at the moment), books (this is good - I've read 4 books during the last 10 days ... or so).  I'm attempting to pay bills as they arrive rather than wait and pay them all late.  You would think this would not be difficult as I pay them all online, but .. yeh, yeh, the road to hell etc etc.  

May !!!  May started out rocky for me, surprisingly.  My old devil depression slapped me around a bit.  The job, the job, t h e j o b .... Sigh.  May is our 'second Christmas'.  That's right - I have no time to do my 'real job' because I'm busy making MONEY for the man.  And I have the sucky job of scheduling our staff.  That means I have 'homework' that I .....  PROCRASTINATE from doing until the night before it's due.  And my staff hates me because that is what staff do - hate the person scheduling all those closing shifts for them.  GROW UP PEOPLE - IT'S CALLED A JOB.   Thank you.  I feel better now.

Transitions.  My daughter is graduating from high school this year.  My youngest son is 'graduating' from elementary school to Junior High (puberty, pimples and body odor) oh and girls.  My oldest son wrapped up his sophomore year at UT Austin.  Where do I begin bragging ???  May has been hectic with Gabby finally committing to A&M (sealing sibling rivalry with big bro for LIFE now).  And for those of you who have sent children off to college, you DO understand the thousand of details and pieces of paper and deadlines you have to meet in a very short period of time.   So with Gabsters we have the details of Prom (this past weekend - a blow out success, post and photos to come, promise!), AP exams, finals (which she's blowing off since her grades for college admittance and class ranking have already been frozen), placement tests she must take before student orientation at A&M.  Graduation is on June 4th.  Her graduating class will be close to 1000 students.  Yes .... it does take a very long time to call out those names and have students walk.  However, they are impressively organized every year.  

On the same day my youngest, Lucas, has his sixth grade 'clap- out'.   The entire school (Kindergarten through 5th grade students), teachers, admin. and parents create a long tunnel the sixth graders run through while everyone claps and cheers for them.  It's impressive (about 1250 students attend his school).  

Isaac wrapped up a tough academic semester with an impressive 3.9 (which really DID impress me considering he's seriously involved with his fraternity AND girlfriend.)  He started his engineering internship this week with BHP Billiton, an Australian based mining company (the largest mining company in the world) that has also expanded into oil and gas exploration.  They have a large office tower in Houston.  BHP has given him a verrry swanky furnished apartment near the Galleria (upscale shopping / dining) near downtown and an impressive salary.  I hope he saves some of it ... :)  He's planning on traveling to China for 3 weeks in August with a fraternity brother who grew up in Shanghai.

Gabby will be spending two weeks in Puerto Rico with school friends.  Afterwards she will spend 3 weeks in Costa Rica volunteering with an NGO,  living with a local family and working in a childcare facility during the day.  She will also have some 'tourist time.'  She's working hard on improving her Spanish fluency and has decided to major in biology (with hopes of getting into nursing school) and minor in Spanish.

Lucas!!  Oh my sweet Lucas is feeling the pain of being 'left behind' by his older siblings.  Lucas will be running Cross Country next year in Junior High.  So he will be attending a long distance running camp 4 days a week for the first month of his summer break.  In July he will attend a competitive soccer camp in Denver, Colorado.   You are right.  I don't know how the child will be able to play competitive soccer and run cross country both next year AND keep up with his academics. This will be trial and error ....

Me ??  Ha.  I'm working.  I've already had my vacation with Soub in March.  Keeping fingers crossed that we will soon be hearing from immigration regarding his visa application.  Soon being 'relative' - could be June ....... could be July ...... could be  ???????  YES I HATE THIS - IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY.  Ok.  I feel better now.

So it's a big jumble of emotions in my house.  Endings and beginnings.  Big change.  You might understand why I'm escaping on my raft every chance I get and just ..... floating.  Limbo.

I'll surface eventually and tell you about the journey.  
Until then, 
((HUGS)) &  xxx


for soubriquet

When a hug is impossible ...

I give you 'Man Pie'


life lesson #389

Unless some sweetness at the bottom lie,
who cares for all the crinkling of the pie?
 William King, The Art of Cookery (1708)

I mean, let's face it - how many times have we bit into something that LOOKS deliciously juicy and spat it out immediately because it was horrid ??  How many people have we secretly envied their beauty, grace, style or ...?? And found them to be utterly vapid ??  And who in their right mind would forgo the pleasure of digging down to the bottom of sweetness ?

I rest my case.


The World's Lap

The spirit keeps wanting to float off into Italian
frescoes, dissolve into acacias,
fall lightly like dust into the Indian Ocean.
Meanwhile the body, tired mule,
pushes the grocery cart through Perishables.
The math is simple.
Spirit + body = a sadness machine.

Subtract either spirit or body and you’re left
with a story
problem for actuaries. 
Guillotines make permanent separation a snap.
Ditto famines and plagues,
ditto waves if you try to cross
the ocean without holding fast to a floating object.

But how to keep the machine happy—
supply it with live clams and dead auteurs? 
Dance it through corn mazes
in the Midwest? An owner’s manual
would help, but how does one translate
the Upanishads of the clavicle,
and where do you add oil in a sadness machine?

Once in a San Jose park, on vacation, I asked
my daughter, Where are we?
She looked up at me: My dolly sits
on mine lap, I sit on yours lap, you sit
on the chair’s lap, the chair sits
on the world’s lap.
There are a million
ways to say California. Only a few promise rest.

~ by Lance Larsen


when in doubt ...

The most important thing in life is to be yourself.  Unless you can be 
Batman, always be Batman.



SOS ~ for dave who does not mow grass ~ SOS

Hiya Dave!  I've been leaving you messages at your blog.
But I'm not sure if you're home.
My messages disappear.
Maybe you're deleting them and that's OK WITH ME, Dave.
Or maybe I'm SPAM.
But really, all I want to do is say:
Hi Dave!

 a musical interlude:
Big Love by Little Village

Carrie Rodgriquez does a sweet cover of this song,
but I like the grit and honey of the original.



air mail

On the hunt for a letter box
I took the letter through the city.
In the big forest of stone and concrete
the straying butterfly flickered.

The flying-carpet of the stamp
the staggering lines of the address
plus my own sealed truth
soaring now over the ocean.

The Atlantic's creeping silver.
The cloud-banks.  The fishing-boat
like a spat-out olive stone.
And the pale scars of the wakes.

Down here work goes slowly.
I ogle the clock often.
The tree-shadows are black ciphers
in the greedy silence.

The truth's there, on the ground
but no one dares to take it.
The truth's there, on the street.
No one makes it his own.

~ by Tomas Transtromer
from New Collected Poems
trans. by Robin Fulton